Breaking up (with your iPhone) is hard to do

It’s official, my iPhone and I are breaking up. I guess you could say our Facebook status has been “It’s Complicated” for quite some time now, but unfortunately we just couldn’t work things out, and we’re officially calling it quits.

My (many) Apple fanboy friends will be appalled. They will be like “dude, WTF, why did you do that, it’s so beautiful and shiny”. Yeah yeah, true dat, true dat. However, the iPhone for me, has been kind of like having a really hot wife that cheats on you all the time, and treats you really bad, but you keep forgiving her because of her looks.

So how has my iPhone let me down so much that it has come to this? Let me count the ways:

• Slow, slow, slow - I’ve diligently upgraded the OS, believing the release notes that says it will fix issues and provide wonderful new features, and now it is so incredibly slow, I feel like I’m getting old just waiting for apps to open or for it to complete tasks.
  
  
• Battery life - I want push email and calendars and I want to use those features. When I have Push features turned on, I’m lucky to get 8 hours of battery life. I’ve even bought a booster battery that I can take in my pocket to recharge it, but that still isn’t enough.
  
  
• Instant Messaging - I used to have IM on my old Blackberry, and it worked great. Even with Push Notifications, the IM apps on the iPhone just don’t work as well.
  
  
• Crash city - Apps and the entire operating system crash on a daily basis. I know I’ve only got the 3G not the 3GS or 4G, but hey, it isn’t too much to expect that I can open an application without it crashing the entire phone?
  
  
• Call Quality - dropped calls, inconsistent quality, missing calls when the phone is on but somehow never rings. The iPhone is terrible, as a phone. I don’t have a landline, my cellphone is my phone and I need it to work reliably. My livelihood literally depends on it.
  

Sorry to focus on the negatives, we did have some good times. I love the iPod functionality, and the TomTom GPS application works great, but these things don’t make up for the fact that the overall promise of a “smart” phone falls well short of the mark.

I know all the Apple fanboys will say just upgrade to the iPhone 4G and all your problems will be solved. You know what, I’ve made excuses about problems I have had with Apple products for years, and faithfully kept purchasing the new hardware. After the press about the 4G reception issues and the way Apple handled it, I’m just willing to take that risk again.

So, I’m going to go back to the Blackberry. I miss my Blackberry. Not as pretty or as attractive as the iPhone, but stable, reliable, and very hard working. My Blackberry never let me down, and at this point in my life I need that stability.

All that said, who knows, I may end up fooling around on the side, with the iPhone’s hotter, taller cousin, the iPad.

Disclosure/Clarification: I do have a hot wife, but she doesn’t treat me bad, and we’re not breaking up.